This is the first in a series of four articles on forgiveness by Tom Delaney, an occasional writer for The Central Minnesota Catholic.
We wouldn’t ever say, “Yep, same old spring,” would we? We experience every spring as new. We can even think to ourselves that it’s a spring “like never before!” We know within ourselves that spring is never a “same old.” In the same way, it doesn’t make sense to say, “Yep, same old Lent.” If every springtime is new, so is Lent. It’s never the same old Lent. As a matter of fact, it’s Lent like never before!
Two things are happening at once that make this year’s Lent not only new, but Lent like never before. They both ask us to consider doing one of the most important things we can do during lent: forgiving someone.
The first is that Pope Leo XIV has declared a Jubilee Year to commemorate the 800th anniversary of the passing of St. Francis of Assisi. During this year, we are called to become saints, following the example of St. Francis. That means doing our best to live the Gospel, especially by practicing forgiveness. The Gospel teaches us to forgive without limits (Matthew 18:21-22), including when we are deeply wronged by the people closest to us (John 21:15-17).
The second thing happening is a diocesan-wide focus on the theme of accompaniment. Accompaniment means being with other people in a way that reflects Christ’s merciful love. When we forgive someone or support another person in forgiving someone, merciful love is at work. Research suggests that not only can forgiveness improve our physical and mental health, but it can also have a ripple effect where the forgiven go on to forgive and reconcile with others, spreading forgiveness and reconciliation from one to many. We are built to forgive and benefit from forgiveness, and the world is ordered for the growth of forgiveness and reconciliation in ways that should remind us of the mustard seed (Matthew 13:31-32).
A Lenten season like never before means a new chance for us to forgive others and freeing ourselves from the daily burdens of resentment and enmity that God does not intend for us to keep in our hearts. During Lent we are called to “giving up” by denying ourselves something thoughtfully, through fasting, almsgiving, or our time and talents in charitable works. Just as importantly, we are called to “giving up” our resentments and enmities through forgiveness, and “going with” the merciful love of Jesus Christ in our own lives. We can call this freeing and transformative forgiveness “giving up to go with” for short.
In this and articles in the following weeks, I want to offer readers a guided experience of forgiveness as a Lenten experience of self-examination that will help with softening of our hearts away from hardness, selfishness and self-centeredness, and toward authenticity, vulnerability and love, like the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The guided experience is based on our Catholic faith and the best research on forgiveness.
We can start by setting aside some time in the next week to make a “grudge list” of people we hold something against for some wrong doing of the past. We list each person, what they did, and how it made us think and feel. Then we pick out one person and commit to working on forgiveness. Picking a person and event that is easier to forgive is the best place to start. Forgiveness is a strength we build up over time. Next week we will take another step in forgiveness. Feel encouraged in your choice to work on forgiveness, and look forward to what’s next in your Lenten journey.
Tom Delaney (OFS, MA Theo) is an educational psychologist and Secular Franciscan in the St. Cloud Diocese, certified in forgiveness group facilitation by the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University. This text is an original work and was not composed or edited with artificial intelligence (AI).