This is the last in a series of four articles on forgiveness by Tom Delaney, an occasional writer for The Central Minnesota Catholic.
When I was young, I would spend summers visiting my uncle in Los Alamos, New Mexico. He worked as a quantum physicist in a nearby laboratory, and while he worked during the day, I was free to go out on daylong hikes in desert country. The New Testament Greek word for desert or wilderness is eremos, and it occurs with importance about 35 times in the Gospels. Our Catholic faith teaches us that Lent itself is the way the Church “unites herself each year to the mystery of Jesus in the desert” (CCC 540). The Gospels explain to us that Jesus was “led by the Spirit into the desert,” and that he would often withdraw to deserted places and wilderness in prayer (Luke 5:16 and Mark 1:35,45). During Lent, we too withdraw in order to be led by the Spirit in prayer and participate in the Mystery of Faith.
One evening, my uncle and I had spent the day hiking and had set up our overnight camp by a stream in a small valley. As usual, our fireside chat began to circle around whether we can understand the cosmos, and he finally he exclaimed that the best research in quantum physics shows that, “everything is a circle, and if it’s not a circle it’s trying real hard to become one.” His insight has stuck with me ever since, as my journey in Catholic faith has confirmed for me that God has a plan at both the cosmic and personal level, and that everything around me is always bending its way from becoming to fulfillment and wholeness – something we see when we draw the shape of a simple circle.
Our Lenten journey engages us in the becoming, completion and wholeness, as we follow Christ. Pope Leo described it as, “accompanying him on the road to Jerusalem, where the mystery of his passion, death and resurrection will be fulfilled.” In the narrative of the crucifixion in the Gospel of John, Jesus even speaks the words of fulfillment, “It is finished” (19:30). The author of 1 Peter declares our restoration to wholeness with the words, “By his wounds you have been healed” (2:24). Before his ascension, Jesus explains, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the law of Moses and in the prophets and psalms must be fulfilled” (Luke 24:44).
Over the past weeks, this series of articles has provided a guided experience of forgiveness. We started with making a “grudge list” and choosing someone and an event to forgive, finding empathy in ourselves for the person and the things in their circumstances that probably led to the wrongdoing, and gave them the selfless gift of our forgiveness in a way that releases us from the burdens of resentment and enmity so that in “giving up to go with” we may follow Christ. This week our last steps in this process of full and lasting forgiveness is to commit ourselves to the forgiveness we have given, and hold it for all time in our hearts. It is natural for us to someday second guess whether we forgave the person after all. You can commit and hold the forgiveness in your heart by reminding yourself with confidence that you forgave the person. Sometimes it helps to keep the forgiveness you put into writing and take another look at it when you start second guessing yourself. Know that because you have committed to your forgiveness and hold it in your heart, it is a fulfillment, complete and whole.
Tom Delaney (OFS, MA Theo) is an educational psychologist and Secular Franciscan in the St. Cloud Diocese, certified in forgiveness group facilitation by the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University. This text is an original work and was not composed or edited with artificial intelligence (AI).
(Above photo: Adobe Stock)