When Audrey Roth’s dad, Leo Koshiol, was dying from cancer, she knew her family could not provide the care he needed.
He suggested Quiet Oaks Hospice House and Respite Care, a place he described as “a house in the woods,” but Roth wanted to see the home for herself.
Roth visited the gorgeous outdoor setting her dad mentioned, but she was most astonished by the ceaseless compassion and thoughtful hospitality of the nurses, staff and volunteers there.
“After visiting Quiet Oaks, I went to see my dad and said, ‘Dad, we’re bringing you over there,’” Roth said.
During the three weeks her dad lived at Quiet Oaks, there was always space where she and all her dad’s loved ones, could live alongside him. The home provided guest suites for overnight stays, staff and volunteers with listening ears, volunteer-cooked meals, quiet spaces to either plug-in or log out and an abundance of amenities for the dying.
All her needs, alongside her dad’s, were met.
Quiet Oaks was originally created to be a space of care for the dying, but just as much a place for their loved ones to be cared for .
Linda Allen, executive director, often tells the story of Dan and Deb Bauer, the inspiration for the radical hospitality provided at Quiet Oaks.
“Dan was in his early 40s when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. After years, there came a time when his doctor said, ‘There’s just nothing more we can do. We suggest you go home to get your cares in order and do what you need to do.’ His wife, Deb, took him home to care for him.”
Deb, like many caregivers, fulfilled all the nursing roles for Dan while he was dying: toileting, bathing, feeding, managing, pain, administering meds and everything she could for him. During this time, she was also mom to their seven kids, ages 6 to 19.
Linda recalls something that Deb told Dan’s brother Joe, and his wife Mary “She said, ‘You know, here I was being caregiver to my husband and being a mom to my kids, but what I wasn’t at the end of Dan’s life was his wife, and I really regret that.'”
Joe and Mary Bauer founded Quiet Oaks in 2008 and the mission to provide an experience that honors and respects the dignity of each of their residents and their families continues by “focusing on a team approach to provide comfort and support for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.”
When guests walk through the doors, they are greeted like family, often with the scent of warm, freshly baked cookies in the air. And those cookies may have been baked by Audrey Roth.
For the last 13 years, Audrey has given time weekly to spend at the hospice home welcoming families and guests, cleaning, cooking meals and assisting wherever needed. She warmly recalls how the volunteers and staff at Quiet Oaks allowed her own family time to focus on their familial roles instead of doing all of the caregiving and felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to do the same for other families.
Quiet Oaks was the final home for Audrey’s mom, Barbara Koshiol, her youngest sister, Deb Cole, and her mother-in-law, Jeanne Roth, as well as many business clients she considers friends.
Each time, she witnessed an outpouring of support and hopes to do the same through her gift of time.
“I have the opportunity to provide good things and service to people who are in need,” Audrey said.
The staff at Quiet Oaks enjoy finding unique ways to make their residents and guests feel special. For one family, it was a wedding photographer, and Audrey was able to step in and help.
“The father of the bride was passing, and his daughter, her husband and the wedding party came here to have her dad be part of the wedding,” Audrey said.
“It’s one of those Holy Spirit moments,” Audrey said, “because I used to be a photographer and own my own studio. Even though we only had a phone to use, I went to stand on a chair in her dad’s room to take pictures and then helped the wedding party outside to take more pictures in the beautiful surroundings.”
Audrey said she feels peace when leaving Quiet Oaks and hopes those she encounters experience the same feeling. Her Catholic faith leads her to believe that’s true.
“They are going to a better place where there’s no more suffering for them,” she said. “Knowing that helps me a lot.”