For the 1,000-plus men residing at the Minnesota Correctional Facility in St. Cloud, a one-on-one meeting with prison chaplain and religious services coordinator, Mike Lamb, provides a unique opportunity to show vulnerability in a place where vulnerability is often a liability. In his office, Lamb listens. He doesn’t always know why the man is incarcerated. More often, the conversation is about what led the man to the point that landed him there.
Lamb has learned a lot about Adverse Childhood Experiences, defined as potentially traumatic events which occur in childhood and may include experiencing or witnessing violence or abuse, having a family member attempt or die by suicide, growing up in a home where parents are divorced, where one parent is incarcerated or where there was drug abuse. This often surfaces in the residents’ stories.
“Those things pile up,” Lamb said. “Society says, ‘Just suck it up,’ or ‘Don’t do drugs.’ The reality is, people have learned what they’ve learned, they’ve experienced what they’ve experienced and that’s where shame can come from. I listen. I acknowledge that yes, horrible stuff happened.”
Lamb, a parishioner at Seven Dolors in Albany, began his career after attending Saint John’s University and receiving a degree in social work. From there, he compared his career journey to a hilly road leading him through work as a licensed social worker in nursing homes, work in parish ministry and ultimately studying to receive a master’s degree from Saint John’s School of Theology where he discovered his desire to serve as a chaplain.
At one point, while grieving the loss of his father, he questioned whether chaplaincy was the right fit. Then he discovered the position at the correctional facility and, although he had never previously considered prison work, he applied.
There, his career journey currently rests, and for the last two and a half years, Lamb provides spiritual care, coordinates religious services and prayer opportunities for a variety of faith practices and helps meet the day-to-day spiritual needs of the incarcerated — including conversations about the incarcerated men’s life journeys, traumatic events included.
One thing that Lamb discovered is that the power of shame is not being able to vocalize it.
“When shame is vocalized in an environment that is supportive of the person, not supportive of [the behavior causing the shame] — that’s where the healing can come,” he said.
At a correctional facility that serves as the admitting facility for all adult males in the Minnesota Department of Corrections system, Lamb has limited opportunity to build relationships. Once the intake process is complete, most incarcerated persons are sent to the other correctional facilities, typically, one that best meets their custody level and programming needs.
Even without long-term or regular interactions with the same men, Lamb receives many gifts from his work.
“It feels good to be able to just hear people’s stories and honor them,” he said. “One thing I often will hear is the line, ‘I’ve never told anybody this before.’ Sometimes, I can take that for granted.”
Often the topics of conversation are heavy, and when a day is particularly challenging, Lamb reaches out to friends, one a fellow chaplain or another who’s a therapist.
Just as Lamb did for the incarcerated men, they hold space and listen to him.