Story by Mary Parks for The Central Minnesota Catholic
When Mary Stommes was named the first layperson to serve as oblate director for Saint Benedict’s Monastery in St. Joseph in June 2023, she reflected on the surprising nature of the unfolding call.
Months earlier, when Stommes heard that then-oblate director Benedictine Sister Michaela Hedican was becoming Director of Mission Advancement for the monastery, she called to express her gratitude and promised her prayers during the time of transition. Stommes had no idea that she would later follow Sister Michaela as oblate director.
“I could never fill the shoes of my predecessors, nor would I want to. The good news is that we all follow in the footsteps of Jesus, each bringing unique gifts to the work God calls us to.”
Earlier in her life, Stommes worked as a hairdresser. Inspired by the love one of her clients had for Scripture, Stommes took a class at Saint John’s School of Theology and Seminary. Before long, she enrolled at St. Catherine’s University in St. Paul, studying both theology and communication. She was a 40-year-old non-conventional student at St. Kate’s when her first professor from Saint John’s encouraged her to apply for the role of managing editor at Liturgical Press, the publishing house of Saint John’s Abbey, in Collegeville.
Initially, Stommes didn’t feel qualified for the job. With prayer and encouragement from her professor, she applied and was given the position in 2006. Later, when “Give Us This Day,” a prayer resource from Liturgical Press, was launched, Stommes was asked by her colleagues to be its editor. She accepted and served from 2010 to 2023.
Although Stommes said she didn’t have Benedictine roots, through studying “The Rule of Benedict” in her classes and serving roles in Catholic publishing, she became immersed in the Benedictine community, often praying daily with the monks of Saint John’s Abbey.
At an event for Saint Benedict’s Monastery in 2016, Benedictine Sister Laureen Virnig asked Stommes if she had ever considered becoming an oblate — men and women who choose to formally associate themselves with a particular monastery.
Stommes admitted that her first reaction was, “No way do I have time to join another group.” After listening to a presentation on what it means to live the oblate way of life, though, she changed her mind.
“Benedictine oblates are women and men committed to prayer and work, to listening deeply to all of creation, and to embodying Christ through life in community,” she said.
Benedictine Sister Karen Rose, prioress of St. Benedict’s Monastery, said that finding the right person to serve as oblate director was a sacred undertaking.
“There isn’t a written protocol for how to go about the process,” Sister Karen said. “Basically, it’s taking our Benedictine approach: praying, listening, taking counsel, praying some more and feeling the Holy Spirit helping a name to surface.”
Sister Karen shared that appointing a director who was an oblate rather than a sister was a new venture which the sisters had been discerning for some time.
“I took counsel with some wise sisters,” Sister Karen explained. “We shared ideas and dreams and we all prayed about it. What emerged was that we really felt that we are very blessed by having such dedicated and passionate oblates connected with the monastery and that God was calling us at this time to take the next step. We had someone in our midst, Mary Stommes, whom the Spirit seemed to be saying would be the right person, in the right place, at the right time.”
Stommes accepted the role and has adopted this Benedictine approach in her ministry as oblate director by listening, praying and allowing herself to continue to be led by the Spirit.
“It helps me to be the person God created me to be, in community with others and sharing the same commitment,” Stommes said. “It’s not just a group. It’s living by ‘The Rule of Benedict,’ its values, and its practices. It’s a way of life for people who know we go together to God, and who prefer nothing to Christ. We are always learning something new, always beginning again. And that’s OK.”
“The Vatican II document ‘Guadium et Spes’ talks about the joy and hope, the grief and the anguish of the world,” Stommes added. “The whole world is held by these sisters. As oblates we extend that reach. We share the mission of the sisters to listen and respond to the needs of the Church and the world.”
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For more information about the oblate way of life, contact Oblate Director Mary Stommes at 320-363-7053 or oblatessbm@csbsju.edu.